when the good girl meets a very bad boy

A very pretty girl meets a well known player and instantly she mentions his name to her friends everyone screams oh dat boy, he's a player oooh he's gone out wit so nd so nd he broke tinuke's heart ril bad. He is soo smooth and all his charms, its just a lie."oooh u'd better stay away from him ". And the innocent gud girl thinks "oh not all guys are bada,he mite just change or maybe he hasn't met d rite person. I would just be his friend no emotions involved oh. You people don't understand him, he's not like that,he was heartbroken,he is a gud person wen u get to knw him" all normal excuses we usually give nd #GBAM# outta d blues, it hits you. You fell in love and frantically, you try to hide your emotions nd feelings buh we all knw how hard such emotions r to hide and it seeps 2ru nd contrary to your belief or fear, he returns your luv nd you ve beautiful times as he encourages you to open up nd bcos you r so much in luv, u barely realise he started sliding into his shell until he starts standing u up on dates and tryin to avoid you nd mehn you are so sensitive you start to cry nd he sees it as bin wik nd all in a moment, you go from "in a relationship,"I love my boo,"my baby is d best" to "ooh I hate boys". "Girlfriends are the best","never let a boy sweet talk you","memories" and all that ish we write . You are ivn to embarrased to talk to your friend bout it cuz honest truth is, Noone would understand the pain no mata how many times they ve gone 2ru an heartbreak, they xpct you to be strong nd forget d hurt like they did. So we all try to please our society and never be caught cryin over a guy formin patty perfect so strong and indepent. The next cycle becomes "well, I don't want a serious relationship ooh" just wanna play around","ve fun for a while". While we forget dat d same tins dat hurt us is wat we r doin to others nd so innocently we pull eachother into d heartbreak cycle. Hurting those we

my university and me

its been a rilly long tyme since I ve been here o chai!!! hurriedly clears cobwebbs(es)... its been rilly rough sha so bloggin has bin on my mind but time to blog always develop wings nd off it goes. instead of postin here,I  ve bin busy stalkin blogs allaround. so lots of issues has come up,lots of heartbreak and lots of love. so this very awesome personalities ve invaded my life and maybe university would be worth it afterall. Bidemi and Mobuolafoluwa they ve £ade this semester awesome for me here. despite d craziness, stress and annoyin school life they made classes very much less boring.        So here is a nigerian public university and a session is running into its 9th months and we are yet to conclude tests not to think or ivn mention aloud examinations while my mates r plannin on resumin or probably roundin off project. I remember back den when uncle Jisola was askin if wanted to become a grandmum before graduated form our almighty Great Ife.I felt he was bin naughty nii. So apart from d very naughty lectures who form like life outside OAU exist and the too long nd borin lectures, when my mates graduate in other schools, I'll still be here and gettin all dese odd looks get from all those very fast schooled students" oh you ve not graduated yet which to me sounds like are you sure you are in school at all?? please guys its not my fault that we are slowest nd steady in my school naa abi??? Anyways,d venting apart ve a feeling this would be a very wonderfu semester afterall am goin on my first slumber party nd wait to muse bout it. buh seriously, Public universities most taken for granted unis. So here am in my penultimate year rockin school  year(I dnt ivn knw wat it means ooh) rockin OAU and growing wiser.So dablog darls, ve a beautiful weekend nd pls help me beg Ife oooh want to grad with my mates in oda schools

lets talk relationships

Everytime you switch on your television or open a book,there is atleast one relationship advice whether its directly talkin relationship or hiding under the cloak of a movie or worse off a tooknow friend or relative tryin to teach you how your relationship should and shouldnt go.Even in churches,its special valentine,or the youth,family service with very heavy moral scripture laden messages. Its either you are been tutored on how not to sleep with a boy until your wedding night or how to be smart and never get caughtwhile i was growing up in a part of Nigeria where most of us grew up.Noone talks about sex[always called having fun] and its just like that word never exists.Getting into a relationship was something a tiny bit fuzzy i had to search the net on acceptable and unacceptable relationship advice did see a whole lot of crash courses doe and when that relationship went down the drain,i wondered whati did wrong.[I was a strict do what you read person]From the first time you meet that gorgeous boy\girl until you get the attention,the dates but wait do we go on dates in nigeria?Anyways,all through the careful schemeing and planning until you land the trophy,you have to be on your best and bestest behaviour and the relationsip itself is like a contract where two people with diffrent beliefs and up bringing come together and most of the times with diffrent expectations which makes me ask What is acceptable and unacceptable relationship advice?when is it safe to have sex with a guy without looking cheap?what to talk bout on a first date and to solemly avoid?How to know if a guy is stingy or not? and the question noone asks,when to get out of a violent relationship? I ve had the goodluck of been with so many young men and women who do not have any idea of what makes a relationship or breaks it and we all follow and imitate what we see in novels or movies which are richly exagerrated and sooo untrue. Instead we should search deep into our minds and do what ever we think would be the very best we feel not what anyone says or think.If you think shes not best for you,then leave.Its better you are not in it than to manage through it.Also, believe me,there is no rule for anyone in a relationship just have fun and be yourself.YYYYes thats the key,BE YOURSELF and u'd be preety suprised...Best relationship advice ever believe me................XOXO

how do you deal with loss of a dear one?

Most people give writeups about how to deal with Loss of dear ones but I wonder how they wud deal wit it if its their loss.You knw advices are rilly easy to give on how to cry it out nd how not to cry but u never know how much d loss of some1 wud affect you until you actually go through the stage of loss....The loss of a dear one is non explanable even if you have been prepared for it.I mean if the person has had cancer or an equally terminal disease and you ve known it would end up in death..Nothing ever prepares you for the loss of someone even you ve sworn to hate d person for life.I never thought the loss of someone would affect me so bad and would teach me what it means to lose someone I.I didn't envisage that huge space and terrible feeling that came with it..Its too much of a story or an advice to give to people who has just lost someone.personally,I made it a point of order never to go teach people how to deal with their loss..This is dedicated to people who ve lost someone and it felt like they can't ever recover from the loss.The word for today is never let people teach you how to deal with losing someone you ve to cry,miss the person like crazy,relive the memories,and best of all,live like your loved one would ve wanted you to.buy that bag that you both loved,go places you've wanted to and don't eva forget what the values or principles the person upheld or believed in........Tosin Ajala we miss you and its very sad to know we would not be able to hold your 12 children,or witness your fabulous life with your hubby nd dat beautiful job u wanted buh we take solace from d fact dat God loves you more nd has better plans for the apple of his eyes we also pray God be with Alhaja and give her d fortitude to bear this loss..We would cry,light forests,miss you and above all,live our lifes so you would see us from d right hand of God and smile at us..We can't live ur life but we would make you proud living ours......AJALA TOSIN August 20th 1990-August 23rd 2011..

Ashes for Gold 2

The next thing I saw was myself on a hospital bed trying to grasp why I was there.I convinced the doctor to let me go home as I wasn't sick instead my sickness was a mental one which I tot I could handle.Everything reminded me of Ayomikun and the memories drove me crazy I couldn't close my eyes without going back to the times.As I sat in d kitchen waiting for my water to boil,I rembered how I lay under d lights and d doctors talkin to me as I drifted off bout how fast the procedure would be and how I would feel better after it.I can't believe I stupidly let Ayomi talk me into sex despite my very high morals and belief,I gave in to d pressure believing we were meant for each oda then consequently the abortion and eventually the infection which made me sterile and almost dead and how I cancelled my trip to the states even though I got a scholarship for my P.H.D he convinced me to stay back so we could plan our wedding.I was very depressed ivn my boss had to give me 4months off. I couldn't step out of my room for a long while as I basically lost the will to live ar have anytin to do with it.Everyone was worried about me as I drifted in and out of reality and my mom outdid herself getting me a therapist as my depression clouded the entire household.Everyguy I saw was a bitter reminder of how mean and evil men were and how terrible he treated me.My friend nimi invited me to worship with her church and I went cuz I was forced as I stared at the ceiling,I had a constricting in my chest region and I ran out which made them stare after me like I was possed.I drove widly until I got to a secluded point where I let out all my emotions begging God to take control and free me from the bondage I was in.I poured my heart to him and left with joy in my heart and my life took a great turn as I realised God has wonderful plans for my life.My phone beeped as my secetary came in with my nephew whom we fondly called Future husband whose hobby is chewing on my favourite jackie lipstick.As I bent down to pick him up,I felt something trickle down my legs and I realised my water had broken I screamed for my husband who was miles away on a meeting.I forgot to mention I got married to my soulmate Ten months ago and I am expecting a set of twins and presently he is on his way from the airport to meet me so we could give birth to our babies.Ayomikun came to my wedding with his very ugly wife bacause I insisted he did so I could show off my very handsome man to him.Plus his wife is quite ugly doe*Evil grin*God traded my ashes for Gold.

Ashes for Gold.part 1

I heard my alarm ring just as he was about to remove my hairclips.I kicked d alarm hugging my pillow harder and snuggling up to Cudlepuffs who was quite indiffrent to my touch I sought for the dream but it didn't return.After minutes of the fruitless search for my Prince charming in dream land,I jumped up remebering I had a classfor 9 and dashed to the bathrum.While rummaging through my bags for my lipstick which I always kept juss in case*winks*Future husband could show up any moment u knw,I heard the cold shriek of my fone as if it was in a slumber of its own.Angie was calling me to remind me of our meeting with the H.O.D,my office fecorators Blablabla,my mind was half way round the world as I cast my mind back to my past as I call him.The perfect hands,d beautiful smile and lips I could nibble on all day and d very calling eyes which promised beautiful adventures.I shook myself as I found my new jackie lippy on my bed.As I stepped out of the house,making a mental note of what we needed and who would buy what.I entered the class just as Tamilore annouced that my class couldn't hold because d department had a programme.My friend was outside my office With guilt gleaming in her eyes as we entered I understood her but all I could give was a smile assuring her I understand and it was okay.I have come this far and I won't regress to self pity and gloom.A world where my friends all complained,were jealous and insanely happy for me,where I had d love*so I tot*and my man was the best,the trips we went on and how much my parents liked him.I sat at that table rembering all I had lost and how I put my best into d 6 years relationship with Ayokunmi.the promises he made,everything I gave and neva got back.And all I got was a text three days to his wedding saying how sorry he was and how he wud have invited me but he feels I wouldn't be comfortable sitting there and how sorry he was but I was too good for him and he hoped I got a better man who knew my worth.

Round in my head

I remember back in secondary school when your idea of your life fufilment is getting into the university.We missed the growing up we were supposed to get then cuz we were luking forward to a better life in the university.It looked like it offered us the escape we all sought with no house mistress signin exeat card,and where u didn't nid permission to go out or do notin.I couldn't wait to paint my nails,try on lipstick,wear watever I liked and partied non stop.I remember crying back in jss2 cuz I had four long years to write WAEC even the way our parents went bout it,u'd think a life witout uni is a void one.I would see undagraduates and grow crimsome with jealousy thinking they have all d fun.Every memo filled was with fantasies of the fashionfilled,partyful,clubful,freedomful,perfectuni life, and of course fantasises bout the luv of your life whom u shud ve met in part1(dark,tall,handsome,teddyful,godfearin,very brilliant,)whom you will marry once u graduate and u live happily ever after.Even Nolly,Bolly and Hollywood didn't help matters as their version of university life lacked all that was important and true e.g uncomfortable lecture rums,how u'd realise u can't date ur mates,dat girls want a rich boy,all d fine boys are taken,how much results will break your heart,how mean lecturers cud be,how school is one big struggle,the randy lecturers,CGPA cud drive you crazy,and its d alpha and omega.Even the few dey focused on is highly exagerrated D party,(school is not one big party),d boys,d meeting(d odds r till you finish ur academic pursuits,u mite neva collide wit dat boy who will stop to help u pack ur books or ivn if u do,his girlfriend is probably waiting rite beside him).I felt I wud meet my Columbus Short type of guy buh it took me a year at home to realise they dnt make those kind of guys anymmre.I learnt my fantasies were juss reserved for my dreams or probably when writtin hollywood a moive script.One gud thing not included in my fantasies was d one tin I got a mended relationship with God.I persoally think I should sue the Woods for building my hopes and allowing dem dash witout any apologies.I ask all my secondary school chummies if uni was as they expected and all I got were huge NOs.I wonder why no one prepared us for the reality even our elder ones were busy chasing GP to explain what it really meant.As my school mates like to say to console demselves,Once you have been here,you can cope anywhere in the world.University is gradually coming to an end and all I gotten is girl drama,betrayals,strings of heart break especially from results and a gift I love very much which came in a very special way nd which has taught me patience,how to smile,wud neva allow me indulge in self pity and a very naughty tutorial.I guess life doesn't always roll the way we want but it would give us something totally out of the blues.and no matter how bitchy Uni mite seem,the world out there is waiting to spice it up.

I met him a virgin!!!!!

Read a pamphlet yesterday tagged"Do not open that gate".It was of course directed to young ladies citing reasons why they should abstain from sex till marriage.Makes me wonder why the girls always have to be the only ones to keep theirselves.It takes two to tango and in this case the man takes the lead and most times the pressuring.The boys are allowed to get away with thinking they are God's blessing to earth so it allows them the freedom to be promiscus while the girls should keep theirselves.Come to think of it,if guys appreciate a lady's body as much as they should,then there will be less pre marital sex around and less of sexually transmitted diseases..Like I told a very close friend a few days back'Dare to be the type of guy that every lady searches for,a kind that would be more interested in getting to know a lady not one whose primary purpose is to get in and out of her.As a mother,I would definitely teach my son(s) that sex is not all there is to a lady and they should be the kind of man whose wife would be proud to say"I am the first lady he slept with.he kept himself till our wedding night...Let our men dare to be diffrent

A better world

  .  . Imagine if you helped someone carry something or do something and he does not even offer a word of thanks or show gratitude at all. I would feel like putting my hands down his throat and pulling the"thank you" out or better still slap it out of him.You could try also to imagine a lady stepping on you and not offer a word of apology you would be so irritated and I would probably drag her by the clothes and demand my apologies.But the truth is that no matter how annoying this can be,we are all very guilty of this act.                                                                          .      Saying "Thank you",Yes please",Excuse me",and the ever soothing "I am sorry" goes a long way.No matter how common and archaic those words are they sooth the soul even faster and more pleasantly than gifts. At one point or the other in our lives we have let this simple courtesy pass us by and hurt some people even without us noticing that. If we all can mind our manners and watch the way some of our words are communicated,I dare say the world would be a better and and brighter.Say thank to someone today,you might just have saved a life.
  

Welcome world

    Been dreaming of having my own blogspot a long time ago but never got around to actually start one.Guess got tired of writting my thoughts and arguments on sheets that get lost or where no one ever reads them.I hope I dont make lots of typographical errors and touch very sensitive issues or drift away from reality.I am an unrepentant fantasiser and that change any time soon..I have to say thanks to my all time favourite bloggers who inspired me alwaysNonyeanike,Mynewhitman,sisiyemmie,honeydame,temisville and lots of other people whom I always stalk on line.Thank you for visiting my blog.I promise we wiuld have enough funin here..Thanks to my sweethart who finally made me start this..God bless u Temitayo.